Joys of language learning

I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about my horrible Spanish. Sometimes when I think, holy crap, I’ve been in country 8 months, mini pat of the back, I do a little jig and smile real big. Then I have those moments when I am communicating how I feel, the things Id like to do, confirming I am on the same page with others, and what happens is the exact opposite of a jig is..maybe die a little on the inside, I don’t know. 

But I realize that my Spanish is nowhere near as good as I want it to be and for being 8 months in, yes I know a lot of Spanish and even say stuff without thinking it out first, but it’s the basic stuff or things I’ve said a million times. And sometimes I say stuff in English in a Spanish format, verbs all switched around. Its like my brain is a drain that occasionally gets rice or oatmeal or whatever stuck in it and can only let some water through. Water gets through, and sometimes all at once, which is like a language high. But then I have moments where nothing gets through at all, nothing new, nothing coherent, correct or understood.

While I say this, I wish not to complain, for there are far too many great things happening at this point, for example, I am loading up on responsibilities left and right, getting sunburned and collapsing on my couch bed from exhaustion and I am eating whatever weird combination of foods I can think of. Also my spirits seems to running high these days and it always makes me smile when I can dance in my living room once a day, mostly to pitbull  and keisha( don’t judge).

I do think it is important though to keep track of language learning and the process, for my own purposes, I suppose no one else really cares as much as I do. But for my own progression I need to know how far I've come and where I can improve. So for now, I will really invest in at least one news paper a week or as often as I can feasible get one. I will read more stuff in general in Spanish and I will text Hazel at least once a month, yay to learning vos form. Also, having started this girls soccer thing, I hope to take advantage of their  (sometimes cruel) honesty and use it for my own learning purposes. I should also sift through my notes a little more often than once every four months to refresh the things I once knew and thought I understood, but have forgotten.

There that is my rant for today, I’m going to be better at Spanish! I promise me:)

daily gratitude

              When I first found out Costa Rica was my placement, I was a student, living on a sleepy mountain in Vermont, sitting at my dorm room style desk. It was the afternoon, when in the middle of reading like it was my job, I checked my email. My jaw literally dropped when I read the first line. My second reaction was to call my mom and freak out a little. Oh my god, what?! Are they for real?! They have to be joking! I then quickly ran and told my housemates. When it sunk in a bit, when the confetti and champagne foam settled, I felt like I was cheating. I was ready to spend 2 years in a hut with no electricity, like my friends had done, in Kenya (and are doing ). They meant to tell me I’d be in a vacation destination country doing development work not even 3 hours from my home state? If I take it, what does that say about me? Am I still, like, a real volunteer? I didn’t even know Costa Rica had Peace Corps! Lucky for me, I had a reserve of RPCV’s that I ran to in order to answer all these questions and over a few key conversations during Sodexo lunches and dinners, they indeed answered them. They reassured me that regardless, I was going to be a peace corps volunteer, a title that is never born lightly no matter where you are. My RPCV Rwanda friend told me I sucked! But the couple that served in Nicaragua said not to worry it was going to be great and not to worry what other people will say, cause they probably will hate me but also it was probably just envy; which was then affirmed by Jeremy (Rwanda). Travis and Kelly, 2 other very good friends that served in Mongolia and Kenya respectively, told me he had all the faith in the world I would be just fine and even better than I knew at the time. By weeks end I was finally convinced I was going to be a real Peace Corps volunteer no matter what and I was ready to accept my fate come what may. (shout out to all my awesome friends who gave me that extra push!)

       Now-a-days:
            Beach corps, posh corps, cuerpo de paseo, and if I were honest, we are all these things. I’m not more than 1 hour from my capitol, or a few other volunteers, or the beach, or a volcano with a lake. My site has wind, all the time, sometimes I’m cold. I live with a Tica, who is awesome, I have two awesome host families I can count on for any possible thing I could ask for. I wash my clothes by hand but in the dry season, they dry in like a day and during vacations, I sit or lay so long, I worry about bed sores. Not lacking too many creature comforts, the words of my friends stay with me from Vermont: regardless of where I am, I will have the peace corps experience. Time spent without talking (in any language), time spent having no idea what is happening, time spent crying (sometimes on street corners), time spent thinking about things you never had time to before, time spent just walking, time spent with complete strangers who are actually your only family for miles, time spent waiting for public transportation, time spent doing absolutely nothing productive, and time spent in your community, attending meetings, being available, hoping one day they may ask you to do something. Clearly it is not the same for every volunteer across the world, as some of my friends can tell you, but the experience we get in working side by side with children, parents, teachers, farmers, representatives, small business owners, community leaders, and women’s organizations is irreplaceable. And it is almost never on our own schedule, or in any way we’d organize it ourselves, but to me that’s the interesting part. To see how it comes together for others, watch the process. It’s so fascinating sometimes I don’t even get mad when nothing is technically “accomplished” except that people got together to talk about the same things over and over again (something I’m aware may get old fast but for now bare with my optimism). It’s like sitting on the bank, learning the rivers current, until you think "hey I can totally swim in that without drowning!" Then you realize you're already knee deep moving away from the shore. It starts off slow, but then you're just in it.

               Some people ask me, "how goes changing the world?". The short answer is “slow”. I’m not changing the world, but if I was, slow is how it would go.  It’s hard enough to deal with myself some days. I do not have the ability to change the world, nor the energy. I have just enough to care about those around me and want what they want that will benefit them, and their community, then make a project out of it. I do however know plenty of mountain movers and these are the people I want to keep in my life to keep lighting that fire I need at times to push me to do more, be better. They seem to be in a high concentration lately in my life, SIT and Peace Corps. When I feel like maybe I am a bit adrift I remember how strategic I have been to place myself in these circles and how the key to my success is surrounding myself with people who are more awesome than me, so I can always try and be more like them. I have amazing and wonderful friends and each and every one of them, I have to thank for getting me here, whether they realized it or not, they have been fuel to my life’s fire that keeps burning and it is only getting bigger and brighter.

its official

When I started this blog, I put a lot of time and thought into the title. I wanted something meaningful but vague enough to last me until writing in a blog was no longer cool or I gave up on it. I did the same with my email address when I was 12 years old; by trying to make an identifier so practical and versatile I could have it til I die and still be ok with it. And, in fact I still have it and use it regularly. The fact that it is a hotmail account is the only give away it was made around the year 2000.  

Anyway, part of the inspiration for the title "Pursuit of happiness and other life adventures" was, admittedly from a Kid Cudi song: "Pursuit of happiness". This and the fact that I was bound and determined to continue my adventure seeking behavior and write about said adventures. 

While the title got the message across, that happiness was important to my stories, it has always bothered me a little, because to me happiness isn't the destination, it's the process I'm writing about. If I were to be really happy then wouldn't I be enjoying the whole thing? Every once and a while, when Kid Cudi plays from my ipod, I revisit this concept. However, lacking in creativity, I eventually stopped worrying about it as my blog title and figured a better one would come to me one day. 

Well ladies and gentleman, it finally came to me, on a bus, where I do my best thinking. I figured my life has been more about my pursuit of adventure and the happiness (or any thing otherwise) that comes from it, not the adventure that comes from trying to find happiness! Done... By switching the only two words I could for it to still makes sense, it finally encapsulates why I do what I do and write about it. I was never looking for happiness like it was elusive or hard to find. I knew it had to come from me and by living the life I love, which just so happens to be full of little and big adventures I enjoy writing about.

So from here on out, until it's not cool anymore, I have officially changed my blog title. That is all. Thank you for your time and for caring about my adventures.