a home by any other name...

So it has been some time maybe a month or two since I last wrote. My time here in Seattle has been spent well. I have been to see the whales, who obviously had better plans that day. I have hiked and camped and climbed and drank coffee. I've seen amazing fireworks and got caught in the rain. I've seen the Space Needle inside and out, and the market from the sidewalks view and had many a delicious snack there. My lack of writing has certainly not been due to lack of adventure. As the sun sets on my time here I've been reflecting on all that has become familiar. I'm not sure if I'll miss it, but this is at least a list of some of the little things that made my every day:

~the bouncer who lived on my floor but always asked for my ID anyway
~the enthusiastic man who sells "real change" while practicing for a football game that will never happen,
~my breakfast diner, Delicatus, and Mama's kitchen,
~the endless cracks in sidewalks that I know by heart
~sleeping on a wooden floor for two weeks like the vagabonds we were
~garbage truck lullaby's at 2 am
~terrible thursday night karaoke and bands at Central also playing for me in the living room,
~bus rides to Dan's across 520 for showers
~bike ride escapades throughout Seattle
~the sickening sweet smell of street soap and long walks home.
~Capitol Hill PRIDE and the Unicorn with its corndogs.
~Elliot bay peaking through downtown buildings
~Ryan's awesomeness and him making this all happen for me
~Dan and tequila, skee-ball, cougars, darts, getting lost, and the Great wheel
~Mark, his band, and his contagious personality..and attention deficiency
~Kevin, watching downhill races and season 4 of breaking bad while investing in an uncommon friendship
~sleeping in and sneaking out
~Haley and our "zumba class"; Jacob's hilariousness; and mine and Brandon's adventures
~Fremont summer solstice day parade/night shit show biking and beer
~4th of July at Gasworks and being so close to fireworks, you feel it in your chest when you're laying down to see them.
~hiking that began in the rain and ended trompsing in the snow in July
~I.P.A's and whiskey on the rocks
~downhill dead baby race/ Georgetown party and double-decker bike jousting.
~Alysha's visit and our weekend at Second Beach in La Push, a simple and stunning example of how beautiful the world can be
~bright purple and orange sea stars and green anemones
~whaling for otters and seals
~the view from just outside the city looking in...

I'm sure there are more things I could think of but these things I want to keep. I've done a terrible job of letting this city settle into my bones and I'm a little sad that the chance to do so has passed. However I did not prepare for the way I find myself now at the end. Yes the city is great, do I want to move here? Probably not, but perhaps my greatest adventure was inadvertently introverted.
Here's what I've concluded: 1) my family continues to grow and one of these days I hope to be in a position to be more supportive. 2) I am scared shit-less to go back to school and for the next three years to be signed away already 3)  Although I don't need a hand to hold when jumping from one adventure to the next, I suspect that it may not be so bad to have some one to do it with. See, I've found that when you find someone, a friend, you feel you can be yourself with, someone that makes you feel important and excited that there's still so much you still have to learn...it makes leaving that much harder and going about it by yourself seem much less sexy...or uhh...interesting..:) Now I'm not saying I'm ready for the "maybe we should move in/ get a kitten" talks by any means. But lets face it, we as humans aren't meant to survive alone, we won't live long if we keep ourselves to ourselves. I need my friends to remind me that life's ever changing and this dark moment too shall pass. When I first moved to Seattle I needed to be reminded of the world not my own just to not fall down that dark rabbit hole. Also, I need to feel love. Just like anyone else, it motivates you to live with passion and meaning, even if what you are doing isn't saving the world, or anything even close to it.
My next post may contradict everything this one says but for now, I've left Seattle. I'm on my way towards a great new chapter, I am excited, I am nervous and I am hopeful. Seattle, you may be a mystery but I'm happy you were my mystery.